id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?