I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.