Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
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Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
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just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive