Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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