That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
