I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize