You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
