yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
