a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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