My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
