I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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