Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
