I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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