They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
