Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
