Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
