hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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