bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
