my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
