Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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