based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
