Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
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We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
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I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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