Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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