A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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