He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
