The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
sex in a hospital.. check
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
