My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
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There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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