Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
