his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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