i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
