Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize