Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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