stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
