saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
