thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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