Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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