He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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