No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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