Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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