dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
