I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
