i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i think my mom watched the whole time
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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