i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
