Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
