So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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