Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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