She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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