he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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