Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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