Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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