I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
