Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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