so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
