It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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