didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
