Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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