I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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