Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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