There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
