Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
