Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
