What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
