At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize