Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
