1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
