Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
