so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
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We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
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my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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