Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
